Visions From Loli

It is that time again. It’s the Fall and time for me to learn me some more Español. I’m taking it at Brookhaven College this semester cause Eastfields’s Spanish 1412 evening classes were canceled. Of course no one tells you ahead of time and I showed up for class that I find out is canceled AFTER I’m there.

I raced home and found that Brookhaven had a class that starts the very next day, so I register and I get in…Yes! Of course, the bad news is that I had already gotten my book and this new class needs a different book – Goodbye $153.

My classes will be on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s at 5:40. I showed up to class and have to say, the digs at Brookhaven, so much nicer than Eastfield. No scrawny mix-matched desks, nope. Nice tables where every one has an outlet that pops up for your laptop.
I walk into the classroom and I felt like I was walking into my Junior year of High School. More than half of the class is filled with high school students, there for Dual Credit. Dangit! I say that, cause once our instructor showed up, Senora Milian, she’s blurting everything out in Español and the young whipper-snappers are answering back in full Español. Meanwhile, my dumb ass old mind is still on ¡Hola Clase! The whole class was that way. Man, the Spanish teachers at their high school must be awesome! Of course the students that don’t do so well in high school aren’t the ones you find going to Dual Credit courses in college…

Well I’m freaking out. Man I had to study my ass off last semester to get an “A”. I can’t imagine studying any more than I did last semester…but I’m gonna have to find the time.

Since I’m the only one in my tiny office that doesn’t speak Spanish, well technically, Laura can understand Spanish, she just can’t speak it. I’ve asked that everyone else speak as much Spanish to me and help me out with my Spanish. I’ve gotta bad feeling…

First off, let me say that I’m missing a gene. That’s right. the “shopping gene”. I’m not one that enjoys spending a day roaming every inch of a mall or shop. When I need or want something, I go and I buy it. In and out. I like to shop the same stores, usually the big department stores, oh and Target. I love me some Target! I know where everything is in these stores, all of the merchandise is neatly organized. A store you will never catch me in? Ross.
Now I hear you can get some awesome bargains at Ross…Two things Ross doesn’t have:
1) Organization and 2) Shopping Etiquette.
Let’s start with Ross’s organization. This one’s easy. Outside of Men’s stuff here and Women’s stuff over there, there is no organization.
Now, shopping etiquette is seriously non-existent at Ross. Sounds weird, but in the grand cosmos of shopping, there is an unspoken etiquette. You smirk, but you know what I’m talking about.
Example: You are in your favorite store and you see a shirt that looks cool on a mannequin. You walk over to a rack with those same shirts. Someone is already there, looking at the clothes hanging on that rack. Do you walk over and start rummaging through the rack? The answer is NO, Duh! This is when shopping etiquette kicks in. You go to the rack nearest the one you want and start casually looking through the clothes while eying the rack you really want, willing that person to hurry the hell up so you can have your turn at the rack.

I have shopped at Ross just the one time. I was totally disgusted by the whole experience. The people that shop there are a different breed or maybe, now that I’m thinking about it, I’m the odd man out cause I would be considered a Noob in the game that is shopping and “They” are the hardcore shoppers or Level 80′s. We all know what happens to the Noob…PWN! Wow, I’ve just had a revelation! What I hate about Ross is that I feel like I’m bullied there. When I’m at a rack, trying to figure out what the hell all is hanging on it, some Level 80 shopper comes over (to what should be MY rack of clothes until I walk away) and because I’m a Noob, she Ninja’s my rack! Just like in gaming…That fuckin’ sux and that Level 80 is a fuckin’ asshole.

I’m just sayin’

Clay and I went to Austin for a quick little getaway and to see my brother, Steve on his birthday.  Of course we stayed at the Omni Hotel.  The first night there, Clay went out onto the balcony to gaze upon the pool and it’s inhabitants and came rushing back in all excited saying “I think the people below us are going to have sex on their balcony!  They are laying a blanket and pillows down!” ( Our balcony was half the size as the one below us, so he had a clear view of their balcony with just a glance down) He motioned for me to come out with him…I totally declined.  He persisted with:  “When is this opportunity ever going to present itself again?  The people below are going to have sex on their balcony and we have a front row seat, and you don’t want to see?”  “What if they see us looking?”  was my response.  Clay: “They are having sex outside…they have to know they might be seen…maybe that’s what they want.”  He finally just went out there by himself.  I kept picturing me looking over just to see them looking at me.  I would be mortified.  Clay was out there for a while then came back in motioning me to come out with him, whispering “They’re doing it!  She’s riding him!  Come out with me.  You’ll probably never get this kind of a chance again!”  Under pure duress, I went out there.  Clay took a quick look over, then straightened up right away.  When I looked over, they were gone.  They had been looking up when Clay looked over….I stared at our hotel door all night waiting for the knock that I just knew was inevitable.  Never came.

The situation got me thinking about being watched while having sex.  In my “Lolivision”, it’s kinda exciting…then, like always,  I over-think it.  Talking about it is one thing.  It’s a topic that comes up  every now and again during a “dirty-talk” session.  Well, after the hotel incident, I really thought about.

In my Lolivision, I’m a Sex-Goddess!  Men swoon over me and my love-making…Back to reality now, I don’t EVER want ANYONE to see me having sex.  Heck, I don’t even want to see me having sex cause I’m sure that it’s nothing like I see with my Lolivision.  In my Lolivision, my hair is always perfect, no JBF hair.  My skin is always smooth and tan.  I’m perfectly coiffed everywhere and nothing jiggles that shouldn’t.  Everything I say is sexy and every movement I make is sexy.   Ya, that’s the ticket…NOT!  The sad reality is that I prolly make weird noises and have things still jiggling way longer than need be…One thing is for sure, I know I don’t EVER want to know what my “O-Face” looks like…

Laugh…but think about it.   I know in my reality, the world  and my kids are safe.  There will never be a sex tape surface with me as the star or co-star. (unless it’s on America’s Funnies Videos or a SyFy Channel special)

With my trusty navigator, Linda at the ready, we set out to find the Hula Hut.   We found it pretty easily, it’s  located on Lake Austin.  We valet parked, cause parking was impossible.  Walk up was amazing.  There was a beautiful patio overlooking the lake.  We walked in to put out name on the waiting list and found out, to our dismay, that it was at least a 1 1/2 hour wait for a table.  Needless to say, we were starving and that just wouldn’t do.  Shame on us for trying to eat dinner at dinner time!  We decided to just drive around and pick a place.  We got onto Congress Ave. and saw that there was a row of food trailers and decided to check that out.  Turns out that a Cupcake stand and BBQ place were the only things open, so our trek for dinner continued.  We just walked up the sidewalk and noticed Guero’s Taco Bar across the steet and that was one of the restaurants on Linda’s list to we headed over, only to find another hour + wait time.  That again, would not do.  Down the sidewalk we trudged.  Just about a block down, we happened across a little “diner” of sorts.  The Woodlands.  Their menu was in the window and they had Chicken Pot Pie – one of my favorites!  We decided to give it a try.  Walking in, it looked like a dimly lit diner with booths on one side and tables and chairs on the other side.  There was a big display with an array of freshly baked pies…PIE!  I love PIE!  We  grabbed a booth and noticed that not only did they have fresh PIE, but they also had a full BAR…Did I find heaven?  Pie, Booze AND Chicken pot pie?  I was feeling a bit like a drinky-poo, so I ordered their Ginger Cherry Lemonade and it was yummy.  I ordered the Pot Pie and we just couldn’t pass up an appetizer of Fried Oysters.  Linda ordered the Macaroni & Cheese and an order of Green Beans.  The Fried Oysters were huge and amazing!  Now, I make a mean Chicken Pot Pie and for the first time, I think I found a rival.  The Woodland’s Chicken Pot Pie is out of this world!  The crust was so flaky and was seasoned so perfectly…my mouth is watery right now with just the memory of it.  Don’t you hate it when you scarf on something, just loving it so completely and there’s just that bite or two left…you want it soooo badly, but you know if you eat it, the scarfing will turn to barfing in the blink of an eye.  That was the case with me and my luscious pot pie.  So sad.  Linda and I sat back from our amazing dinner and we both gave each other a nod of approval.  We had lucked out and found an outstanding restaurant on our quest for dinner.

Linda and I checked out of the hotel around 9:30-ish and headed to Kerby Lane for breakfast.  It’s the one place that Clay and I always go when we are in Austin.  Man, we lucked out with up front parking and only had to wait about 20 minutes for a table.  Usually I get the Gingerbread Pancakes, (outta dis world) but one of the specials was Orange-Spice Pancakes and I just couldn’t resist.  One of the other specials was Lemon-Poppy Seed Pancakes and that is what Linda got.  The Orange-Spice was just okay but the Lemon-Poppy Seed were fabulous!  I felt kinda jilted, but I noticed on our way in that they were selling their Kerby Lane Gingerbread Pancake Mix, so I walked out with a coupla packages.  We decided to hit the Austin Museum of Art, so we headed downtown.  Turns out that the museum was closed as they were installing a new exhibit.  The State Capital was just down the block so we decided to have a look.  What’s funny, is that on the walk up the street, I joked that “wouldn’t it be great if there was a protest going on?”  Well, falling in line with our trip thus far, lo and behold, a protest on the steps of the State Capital!  The group “American Atheists” and  “Texans for Truthful Textbooks” were holding a rally while we were visiting the State Capital.  It was peaceful, no firearms were visible.  It always floors me to see young children with pickets.  Children who can’t even read.  It was interesting though.  I have not really been keeping up with the issue, so the incident has sparked my curiosity.  Anyhoo, the State Capital is just beautiful.  Unfortunately, it was Sunday, so access to most of the areas of interest were closed.  Of course the gift shop was open…

On our way back to the car, we stopped in at Starbuck’s to rest my aching feet for a bit then decided to grab a bite for lunch before hitting the road for Dallas.  We headed to one of the restaurants that had a long wait time the night before, Guero’s Taco Bar .  There was still a wait, but my feet were tired and we weren’t gonna walk around no more.  They seated us in the bar area, which was cramped and loud.  Linda and I shared an appetizer Botano Plato, which consisted of two different kinds of tamales (black bean & beef and pork), two quesadillas and queso with chips.  It was very good.  On my way back to the restroom, I traveled through the main restaurant and it was really nice.  I was wondering where the “taco bar” came from in the name and now I know, they have a bar filled with different types of picos, salsas, sauces and onions and peppers.  Pretty cool.

After a scrumptious meal, we were Dallas bound.  I really had a great weekend.  It was quite mild and by no means anywhere near wild.  I actually saw more of Austin than in my previous 4 trips.  Clay and I tend to like to kick back and enjoy the peace and quiet that a hotel room at the Omni affords you.

Fin

Back from Austin and the Renegade Craft Fair.  It was a really good trip.  Had me some quality “Chick-Time”, got to view some interesting crafts and indulged in some Awesome food!  Totally successful trip and I can’t wait to go again.

Linda and I had a nice, uneventful drive to Austin.  Linda and I don’t see each other much throughout the year (something I hope to remedy) so we spent the time catching up.  So much so, that we were 2 1/2 hours into our trip and just outside of Austin before we knew it.  “How time flies” comes into play here.  I was teasing Clay the night before we left by saying “So, you are okay with me and Linda painting the town in Austin”…Well, Clay laughed at that,  saying that Linda was the “safest” friend that I had and he wasn’t worried one bit.  I came back with “So you don’t think Linda has any “Bad Girl” in her?”  Again he just laughed.  Well, I shared that comment with Linda…Wow, she told me stories of her college years that makes Clay’s college years seem tame…”It’s always the quiet ones”

Linda had made a list of Austin local eateries that had been visited by the likes of Guy Fieri and Rachael Ray .  The first one that we visited was Shady Grove.  We got there just before the lunch rush, which was nice.  Walking up, it hardly looks like a restaurant, until you see the huge patio.  The entire place is surrounded with big, beautiful trees, so the whole patio is shaded by the trees.  We chose to eat inside which was just as nice.  Kinda rustic meets diner.  I was tempted by many things on the menu but settled on the Bad Chili Dog (sans onions and mustard) It was delicious as well as massive (I was only able to eat half).  Linda had the “Hippie Sandwich” which was grilled eggplant, roasted red peppers, zucchini, mushrooms, arugula, tomatao and mozzarella cheese on Hippie bread.  It looked really good and must have been, cause Linda finished the whole thing.  By the time we left, the place was packed!

With our tummies full, we headed to the Renegade Craft Fair .  It was held at the Palmers Event Center.  I was so excited as Linda and I entered the huge vendor room.  “Stuff” as far as the eye could see!  We decided to start on the right and work our way around.  Up and down the aisles we walked.  Almost four hours later, we had seen it all.  My opinion?  Truthfully, I was kind of disappointed.  Linda had told me that the Renegade Craft Fair was very particular as to the vendor’s they “allowed” in.  I guess they wanted to keep it “artsy”.  Well, that was evident.  It turned out that probably 75% of the merchandise was a lot alike.  Lots of t-shirts with silk screening, poster art and jewelry with some pottery, candles and purses/bags scattered about.  I came armed with a big purse and an extra bag, just knowing that I would leave with both packed full…Not the case.  I walked out with two greeting cards.  I was really expecting something more like the Etsy website, which totally rocks.  Ah, you live and learn.  Man, with the amount of mom’s with their little ones, they really could have made a killing.  I’m thinking that maybe next year they open it up a bit.  I bet there was not a lot of return visitor’s on Sunday.  (Linda and I skipped it)

With our “Dogs-a-Barkin’”, we headed to the Omni Hotel to check in and rest up a bit before heading out for dinner.  The Omni just never disappoints.  We had a really nice room on the 6th floor overlooking the pool.  I had warned Linda that unless she brought her footie PJ’s, I might just freeze her out, as the first thing I do when I walk into the room is turn the thermostat way down….Well, we settled in and decided to take on the Hula Hut for dinner.

Continued in my next post…

Well, I ended up dropping the Spanish class that Russel and I were taking last semester. Turns out that it was a “Hybrid” class. No lecture time. The class was only 90 mins and in that 90 minutes, our instructor would zoom through vocabulary and some grammar explanation and be packed up and was the first one out of the door waiting for everyone to leave so she could lock up. 90% of all instruction and homework was online at our Spanish books publishers website. The site was good, but only if you totally understood the lessons that were explained, just the one way. The instructor did not have The best people skills and would answer any questions that we would have very impatiently treating each person with a question, like an idiot. Anyway, I wasn’t doing totally horrible in the class, but I felt as though I was floundering and just getting by. I was doing a whole lot of studying and it was like nothing was sticking. I just didn’t feel as though I could move on to the next class with enough true understanding of the basics that I was trying to learn and would end up “just getting by”, instead of actually learning to speak Spanish, like I want to do.

So, this semester, Russell and I are taking Spanish 1 all over again and this time in a traditional course. Have to say, this format suits me much better. The instructor is engaging, informative and compassionate. She seems to appreciate those of us that are there to actually learn to speak the language instead of those that just need the credits. I still study all of the time, but I actually have a better understanding. We have had two tests already and thus far I’ve gotten a 90% and a 93%. Granted, the material so far is the same stuff that was covered in the other Spanish class, but it’s really clicking in my head this time. I’ve found an awesome app for my IPhone that has helped me so much! It’s a flashcard generator. I’m able to make an Excel spread sheet of my vocabulary words and upload them to this site and then upload them to my IPhone. It’s been totally invaluable. I spend anywhere from 90 mins to 2 hours in my car going to and from work and I use that wasted time to study my vocabulary.

It’s Spring Break right now and our instructor sent us home with our Chapter 2 test…Open Book! An almost guaranteed “A”. I say “almost” because the first part of every test is listening to dialogue and answering questions pertaining to the dialogue. I suck at that! Put it this way, on my last test, I got a 93%. I could have gotten a 99% if it wasn’t for the dialogue portion. When we get back from Spring Break we have a map quiz on Mexico, Central America and South America. We have to be able to fill in a blank map naming the countries and capitals. I’ve already bookmarked a few websites that help with this…now just need to make the time.

Okay, so I am in 7th heaven! I got a new sewing machine! Not just any sewing machine, but the top of the line! Well, actually, to be truthful, it’s really last years model, but still. She’s glorious…I’m going to just call her “Sapphire”. She is state of the art. Everything is electronic. I don’t even have to use the foot pedal unless I just want to. Push button start and stop, it will automatically lower the needle into the fabric each and every time that I stop sewing (so I don’t lose my needle position in the fabric) she will even cut my thread for me! She has a drop in bobbin, which to most is not a big deal, but ya’ll my old sewing machine had this bobbin set up that had me practically standing on my head to take it in and out. All of her presser feet just simply snap on and off…again, Glorious! My old machine’s feet screwed on and off and invariably, would fall off about every other time that I would raise the presser foot. Sapphire has button controls and a screen that, when I choose the fabric that I’ll be sewing, it displays the recommended presser foot, the needle to use and automatically adjusts the thread tension. Basically, I just have to show up and Sapphire will do the rest…Basically.

My first choice for a machine was the Viking Topaz 30, which does everything Sapphire does and it also does embroidery! Super-Stupendous! With a Super-Stupendous price tag as well. Wayyy too rich for my pocketbook. Maybe some day…

Still, I’m sated. I love my Sapphire. And girls (and guys), you can accessorize! Don’t we all love accessories! Viking makes all of these wonderful presser feet that help me to do almost magical things with my fabric. She came with 6 presser feet…one that makes my button holes for me with the push of a button! Practically hands-free, once I get it placed in the right spot. Well, while I browsed the accessories catalogue that came with Sapphire, I realized I was drooling…over all of the wonderous “special effects” that I could purchase to “enhance” my sewing…The book is truly Seamstress Porn. Since I’ve gotten Sapphire, I’ve purchased 3 presser feet, every payday I’ve gone to Joann’s Fabric…wayy in the back to the “Viking Sewing Machine” section of the store, hungrily fingering the clear plastic containers within which lay the magical, shiny instruments of my desires…Ahem…Sorry ’bout that…got off track a bit there. Anyway, every payday I buy something. It just blows me away, how something so simple as a presser foot can make a tedious task soooo much simpler. I bought a foot that will make a seam for me. Turn it under twice while I’m sewing it, in one step. With my old machine, I’d have to measure 1/4″, fold and press, then measure another 1/2″, fold and press then sew. Depending on what I was sewing, it could take me 10-15 minutes. The lady at the Viking store, Paula, would get all excited when she saw me coming. Sure, at $31.50 a pop! Well, like everything else retail, I have gone to the internet in search of my Seamstress Porn, and baby, I’ve found it! Discount Sewing Machine For about half (depending on the foot), I can get the same Viking presser feet! Whereas, all of the presser feet at the Viking store are at least $31.50 +, I can get them as low as $12.95 and free shipping if I spend at least $45. I love the internet!

I am about to embark on a sewing frenzy!  I work with two people that have young girlies and I offered to make clothes for them if they got me the patterns, fabric and notions…Well, I just happened to be at Joann’s Fabric and they had patterns on sale for .99, so I bought a bunch of patterns for their little ones.  I downloaded pictures of the patterns as well as the backs of the patterns, wherein lie the fabric amounts and notions needed.  I’m busying myself organizing all of my sewing supplies and ordered a sewing cabinet, (which I just picked up) so that once I sit myself down in front of my magical machine, I can just go to town!

>Squeal<

Loli:  I’m headed to Kazy’s to pick up some rice.  Any requests?

Clay: BJ

Loli:  Good idea!  I bet I won’t even have to pay for the rice if I did that!

Clay:  Dammit.

Okay, so quick post here just to vent a little.

First, let me start off by repositioning myself from the fetal position so that I may bow down before any and all IT Help Desk Professions…each and everyone of you are GODS!

This morning I set out to return a book to Amazon.  Lalalala, going to the Amazon site, logging in…Lalalala, clicking “return purchase”….Lalalala, “why are you returning”…”Don’t need it”….Lalalala, “click here to print return label” SSSCREECHHHH! Shit! My printer isn’t hooked up!  Oh, well, I’ll just plug it in real quick.  Lalala, getting cable…Shit! It went wireless through our Naz, so I have to set that up too.  Oh, well, Lalala, getting cable….Shit! Can’t find the damn cable.  Oh well, I’ll just hook it up directly to my computer, I can just sit it on the floor next to my computer, afterall, I just need to print one thing.  Lalala, connecting power cord…Lalala, connecting usb cord….Shit! Why isn’t my mouse working? It’s okay, I’ll just try another usb port…Lalala…Shit! Still not working! Let me try another port…Shit! How about another? Shit, Shit, Shit!  (Thinking of calling Clay for advice, but knowing what I will hear is: “Have you tried turning it off and then back on again?”>Classic Roy<)   Now I know I should just reboot, but I’m wondering if I’ll loose the ability to print this label.  What if I only get one chance?  There’s gotta be a way to move around using my keyboard…Arrow keys? Let’s try arrow keys…Lalala, Damn, Shit, Damn! Why isn’t my GD keyboard working? >deep breath<It’s okay, we’ll try another usb port…Lalala… GD, Damn, Shit, Frak! Hit my GD head on the desk…it’s okay, no blood…Lalala…Shit, WTF is going on! Why isn’t my MF’in mouse and keyboard working?     Fuck it! Reboot…lala…What the Hell is going on here?  Why isn’t my monitor working now?  How the fuck does this happen?  Reboot again..la-effin-la…AARRGGHH! Still no monitor, mouse or keyboard?! SHIT, FUCK, FUCKITY, FUCK! I just want to print one GD thing for fuck’s sake! Let me try just unplugging the power cord from my computer…La-effin-la…

Lalala! We have monitor, we have mouse, we have keyboard! Lalala!  Now will Amazon let me print this label?  Going to Amazon, Lalala…Signing in, Lalala…Yesss! “Reprint label”, Lalala….What do you mean you need the drivers for my printer? WTF! I’ve always used this  GD, M-Effin, ass-licking, Fucking printer! Why the fuck do you need the GD drivers? Where did the other drivers you were using before go?  Did they just GD disappear into thin air?  “Insert disc” I’ll fucking “Insert disc”  I know the perfect fucking place to “Insert the GD disc”…FUCK, FUCKITY, FUCK!!!!! It’s okay, I’ll just go to the HP website and download the drivers, they’ll be the most up to date anyway….la-effin-la,la…

Okay, so bottom line is, I printed the return label.  Clay is cringing and wiping his brown knowing that he just totally lucked out “getting” to be at work while I struggled my way through this…He’s the only one that know’s that what I wrote above is way milder than what really went on……Right, Sweetie?

Lalalala

So Russell and I are taking Spanish 101 at Eastfield College. I thought it would be good for me. I’d be learning another language that will come in handy and I will be occupying my time constructively. I was pretty excited about it. Everyone in my office either speaks Spanish or understands it. So, I’m thinking that it should help me out.

Well, our teacher is Señora Solis. I don’t mean to be harsh, but man, she is severely lacking in the area of personality. Class starts at 7:05 pm and she is unlocking the door at 7:04 pm. No pleasantries. Hell, we are 10 weeks in and out of 20 students, she only knows the names of maybe 4 people and I am not one of them. She got Russell’s name right off of the bat, but I think that’s only because he is so Fabulous! It’s like we are in a race. We have about 25 vocabulary words every other week that we go over and I promise you, we whizz through them in 2 minutes. She speaks no english. I’ve heard of immersion, but this is ridiculous…I mean, it’s beginning Spanish! We spend about 1 hour and 20 mins in class on Monday’s and Wednesday’s, then the rest is online. That’s right, at 8:20 – sharp, she is packed up and ready to leave. Talk about a sweet gig! I thought I had it good with my 4 day work week!

Well, I think I am doing pretty good so far. We have a test every other Wednesday on our current chapter. That is really stressful for me. We test on Wednesday and have to wait until the following Monday to find out how we did on the test! Aargh! Still, I’m doing okay on the tests. My first test was barely passing…72. My next was 94 then 84 and this past week…I don’t have a good feeling about it. You know what is killing me? Sentence structure. I can conjugate like crazy, but ask me to tell you about my family in spanish, well I think I could more easily lay you a golden egg. It’s really almost laughable. If you really stop to think about it, remembering the fact that my instructor spits out her lectures in spanish at warp speed, how am I supposed to practice composing sentences outside of class when there is no easy way of knowing if what I’m writing is correct? I have finally found a website, www.spanishdict.com and it will translate my sentences for me…still so time consuming. Pampered, am I? Listen to me, like learning another language is supposed to be easy or something!

I just need to study more. I have to have an environment that is freakishly quiet…no distractions at all. I usually lock myself in my room and do a marathon study session for like, 3-4 hours. The bad thing is, I only do that maybe twice a week. For some that would be plenty. But for me, well, it just doesn’t cut it. I need prolly a good 4 study sessions like that. In fact, I should be studying right now, instead of writing this…

Frak